The No-Bullshit Holiday Survival Guide(For Humans With Families, Friends, Feelings, and a Nervous System)

“And so this is Christmas, and what have you done?” John Lennon

I returned home from 2 wonderful weeks at our home in Michigan, visiting with family and friends, only to discover I hadn’t taken down ANY of the inside Halloween decorations. We do Halloween BIG, it’s by far my favorite holiday, so there were ravens, skeletons, zombie babies, rats, and an assortment of other gruesome crap all over the place.

 My first thought was full of expletives and after a drink (or two), I decided, let’s just make the most of it.  Who says I need to have the perfect decorations for this time of the year? So YUP, my skeletons and creepy guy with a hanging from the ceiling fan got a make over.  Kinda my way of taking the stress out of the holiday:-)

Here are some of my fave ways to make the holiday a little brighter without going into the glaring, raging zone:-)

1. Lower the Bar. Then Lower It Again.

If your goal is “Everyone is happy and nothing is awkward,” congratulations, you’ve chosen suffering and a Normal Rockwell lie.

New goal:

“Nothing catastrophic happens, and I leave with my dignity.”

That’s a win.

2. You Are Allowed to Pace Yourself

You do not have to:

attend every event

stay as long as everyone else

explain your exit like it’s a courtroom defense

Try this radical sentence:

“I’m going to head out—love you guys.”

Repeat as needed. No footnotes, just a solid period.

3. Boundaries Are Not Mean. They’re Preventative Medicine.

Boundaries prevent:

arguments

resentment

crying in the bathroom

Examples you can steal:

“I’m not talking politics today.”

“Let’s change the subject.”

“I’m good not answering that.”

If someone gets mad, remind yourself:
Discomfort is not damage.

4. Have an Exit Strategy (Yes, Really)

Hope is not a plan.

Before you go:

Know how long you’re staying

Know where you’ll take a break

Know who you can text if things go sideways

This isn’t pessimism.
It’s emotional seatbelts.

5. Alcohol Is Not Emotional Regulation

A drink can help you relax.
Five drinks turn your inner child loose with a megaphone.

Check in with yourself:

“Am I enjoying this… or self-medicating?”

Choose accordingly. No shame, just honesty and integrity.

6. You Don’t Have to Correct the Record

Not every comment deserves a response.

Sometimes the healthiest move is:

a nod

a bathroom break

petting the dog longer than necessary

Silence is not surrender.
It’s energy conservation.

7. Grief and Joy Can Coexist (It’s Annoying but True)

You can be:

grateful and sad

connected and lonely

present and exhausted

You’re not doing it wrong.
That’s just being human in December.

8. Pick at least One Thing That’s Just for You

Before or after the chaos:

a walk

a book

a workout

sitting in your car listening to music singing at the top of your lungs and steering wheel drumming like a teenager. This one is my personal favorite!

One small ritual can reset your nervous system more than you think.

9. If All Else Fails, Zoom Out

Ask yourself:

“Will this matter in six weeks?”

If the answer is no, breathe, let it pass, and save your energy for things that actually deserve it, like your mental health, world peace, making sure every person has a fully belly……

10. If You’re Struggling More Than Usual…

That’s not weakness.
That’s information.

Reach out. Talk to someone. Get support.
You don’t get bonus points for suffering quietly.

Final Holiday Truth:

You don’t need to win the holidays.
You just need to get through them with your nervous system mostly intact.

And if all you accomplish is showing up as imperfectly yourself?

That counts. Big time. It IS a WIN!